Thanks Kelley
so this is really the only way i know how to get in touch with some people... but i have to be honest, i NEVER update this thing. as i'm sure you can tell by the last entry :/ but thank you kelley for the prayers! quite an unexpected blessing to see that :) and the only reason i ever knew about it is that the comments on here get emailed to me. i've just sorta lost time and ability to blog frequently.. no more computer, working all the time, assorted other things that seem to steal my time. but if any of you want to stay in touch with me the best way is to either check out my "myspace" page (www.myspace.com/thejamessummers) or just email, i can check those at work and respond to them too! jimgump37@hotmail.com ... thats not really the one i use most often but if you send me one there and i know who you are i'll respond with my the one i use all the time. i hope all who are reading are doing well!
shalom
WEBSITE
www.fallingband.com
check it out.
aahhhhh
this one's for you Kelley :)
life is insane.
my band has started the recording process for our first cd and therefor my life has become amazingly busy. but busily amazing too.
i don't actually know what busily amazing means...
anywho, life is being lived but here's something that i've seen happen: my interactions with God seem to be turning into a duty. this has happened many times before. but the difference with this time is that all my busyness is somehow or another linked to the calling with which I've been called. the specific calling on my life i mean. in the interactions with my Maker becoming duty-esque, my fulfilling of my calling to be selfless and holy are slipping too. but with the gifts God has given me and asked me to use for His kingdom, those things are the ones that are occupying my time more and more. the band is really taking off and its very exciting to see things start to happen with our music, but like i said, its becoming the most time consuming thing in my life.
i want to put as much as I can into it; but to be able to accomplish that while staying focused on the Beginner of all the works in my life would be prime.
so part of me wants to just resolve to fix it and work real hard at doing that. but another part of me thinks that my works wouldn't produce anything. so thats my dilema. the things that are taking over my time are great things.. things that I believe God has called me to do. But i don't want those things to result in the deterioration of my relationship with Him.
any thoughts and/or prayers are coveted, but really i think just typing this out will be a good first step.
beat me senseless
so over the last few months i seemingly haven't be able to get away from one scripture. it keeps coming up everywhere. my quiet times. sermons. talks with people. 1 Corinthians 9-11. the jist of it: "I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means i might save some."
it deals with freedom.
it deals with selfishness.
it deals with what i think about every second of the day.
just because i am "entitled" to enjoy certain freedoms, that doesn't mean that the best way for me to go about living is to soak those up. yet again another paradox of my faith. if i were in prison for years, then was released, my natural reaction would be to do as much as i could, just BECAUSE i could. nothing crazy. but things like go get a beer. eat ice cream. watch a movie. walk in the park. all lovely things that i enjoy. but as christians we're called to something else. and i'm realizing more every day that its freakin' hard to live that out. i have done it. i have seen how amazing God is when i lose myself. but i don't do it every day. i don't even do it once a month. i live the majority of my life discovering new freedoms i am able to enjoy.
i'm not saying that beer, ice cream, movies, and walks in the park are bad things. they are lovely like i said. but sometimes... maybe more than i'd like to admit... i should deny myself these lovely things for the sake of the gospel. for the sake of loving others more... maybe not more, but even as much as i love myself. thats like 100 times more than i love them normally.
so i have blogged on it. i have fulfilled my duties as a modern christian. now its back to ice cream, beer, and movies. :\ (little sarcasm directed towards my tendancies)
bored
at work and there's not much to do. here's some lyrics to a song:
starry night come out to play
life's easy away from day
hidden from the light to see
everything that makes me me
there's a part inside my soul
i'm scared to hide and scared to show
i hope it dies along with this
moon that's hanging up so bliss
warring self against self taxes a soul
attacks on the body seem much easier to take
now i've nowhere to go
"Run into My hands... My arms."
now i lie in painful rest
moments of relieving stress
i close my eyes so i can see
everything that isn't me
Sunday Bloody Sunday
no my day hasn't consisted of insurections or uprisings, but it is bloody.
today i'm questioning myself and how much trust i put in people. the last thing i want to do is become cynical and shut myself down from everyone else. but sometimes i just get so frustrated with people letting me down. maybe its less a question of my trust that i put in them and more a question of expectations i have of them. i hope i can trust my friends with the parts of me that aren't so pretty. that they'll still love and care for me in and through the crappy times in my life. but i think i can do that and still not hold high expectations of them and their actions towards me.
to the onlooker this looks like something crazy has happened in my life... something really dramatic. it really hasn't. there are WAY worse stories than the one in my life that brought me to this point. but i don't want to stop questioning or thinking about these things just because the catalyst wasn't a huge deal. i figure, if this thought was sparked in my head, i might as well take it on.
texas weather
yesterday:
i sweat pools
today:
i freeze extremeties
yesterday:
i got a nose tan
today:
i can't feel my nose
yesterday:
i smelled really bad
today:
i can't smell anything (nose is stuffed up)
yesterday:
80 degrees
today:
40 degrees
everyday in Texas:
insane.
